sometimes I try too hard

Sometimes I try too hard
And the words come out harsh and jagged
They fit to the rhythm but do not flow
They carry the meaning to your mind
But not your soul
Just another lie, laid out in logic
Another deception
Desperately pretending
To be what I am
Or what I don’t want to be
For someone else
Instead of just being myself

Why not just
Go with the flow and accept defeat?
Why fight the inevitable
When to receive it with joy is more pleasing
And to reject it is really not an option?

All the trying too hard in all the world will never really form me
Into what I cannot be
Yet I
Still throw myself against the wall of confusion
Beyond which lies the truth
Laid out in lies I never meant to tell
I meant well
I just tried too hard
And missed the point …
There was no sharpness, nor comfort and warmth

Only sadness
And the frustration of feeling nothing else
Being alone again
When I tried so very hard so many times

Sometimes I try too hard